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teen dating

We date to find the right person, that special someone worthy of our affection. We search for that special person deserving of our eternal love.

Proverbs 31:10 asks the question, “Who can find a virtuous woman? Her price is far above rubies.” This is the reminder that we all need when it comes to dating.

Too often people rush into a relationship. They settle for something less than the perfect person of their dreams. They witness unhealthy habits, behaviors, and patterns, but turn a blind eye to these traits. They become attached and involved too quickly and overlook the problem areas that should immediately steer them in a different direction.

It is critical that singles and those who are single again be well-prepared for marriage. If they are not, folks will fall into the trap of marrying a person thinking that they knew them, but in reality they only knew about them.

Take the necessary time to truly find out who it is that you are dating. It might take three to six months or longer, but just like looking through a microscope on its lowest setting, you can only see so much. Dating someone for an extended period allows you to see certain things that may not become evident right away. When you have dated someone for a year you begin to have history with that person. Many couples get through their first year just fine, but in the second year issues often begin to surface that weren’t evident earlier.

We date for a reason. It is okay to wait and search for the right person. It is okay for a relationship to end if there are warning signs. Don’t settle for someone who does not treat you right. You deserve someone you can trust. You deserve someone who will remain committed to you. Set high standards and hold onto your standards. They can help you find the right person who will stay with you for the rest of your life.

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Last weekend was great.  It was Sunday morning and the conference room was full of military couples.  People were smiling.  Husbands and wives were holding hands.  Others just kept their arms around each other.  I could tell that folks did their “homework” and made time to reconnect.  The dynamics of the room had changed.  There were no folded arms or frowns like the day before.  The room was full of happy people.  These marriages were stronger, satisfied, and renewed.

As a co-leader, it is great to see couples learn new skills and rekindle their romance.  The big “homework” assignment for Saturday night is to take your spouse on a date.  Both must agree on the details and craft a plan for the night together.  Additionally, every couple needs to treat their spouse like a friend, have fun, reconnect, and spend time listening to one another.  Why couldn’t every homework assignment be this good?

No matter if you attend a marriage retreat or a marriage enrichment seminar like this, we all need the reminder.  Instructors and attendees must hear the message alike.  Relationships are important.  Our marriages need to be nurtured and strengthened.  Take time for each other.  When our marriages were young and new, we never spent time apart.  Now, it is difficult to find a quiet evening to talk.  Make time for each other.  Remember why you fell in love.  Dates don’t have to be expensive, they just need to happen.

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It is tough being single, especially in the military.  You want to find the right person and be happy in a relationship.  Nobody wants to have their heart broken or even worse, marry the wrong person.

There are two common problems with dating today.  First, too many people do not know what to look for when dating.  They go out on the dating scene with no expectations.  This is a matter of education and learning what to look for in your next relationship.  Second, people minimize problems when they are dating.  People focus on matters of the heart, fixing a person, or accept bad behavior when they should instead hit the eject button to avoid a serious crash and burn.

Army chaplains frequently offer a program for single soldiers called, “How To Avoid Falling for a Jerk(ette).”  This program is also known as PICK, premarital interpersonal choices and knowledge.  While that title sounds complicated, PICK allows soldiers to build healthy relationships and follow your heart without losing your mind!

It is designed to provide singles and singles-again of all ages with a plan for pacing a relationship and exploring the key areas that foreshadow what that partner will be like in marriage.  This way you have a roadmap and mile markers to guide you in your next relationship.

No one should settle for a jerk or a jerkette.  Learn what to look for and know when to run for the exit sign.  You deserve a safe, happy, and healthy relationship.

Check out the Love Thinks website at www.lovethinks.com and the Army Strong Bonds website at www.strongbonds.org.  You can find additional information on building healthy relationships and also learn where future seminars will be held in your state.

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