Life is difficult for military families. There will be a time when your loved one is called to duty away from home. Active duty missions come in different shapes and sizes. They may be for long training exercises that have been on the calendar for a year, an immediate call up to provide support during a natural disaster in another state, or even a deployment on the other side of the globe. In every case, it means your service member will be gone. Here are some tips on how you and your family can weather the storm.
Surround yourself with positive friends. Job just isn’t another book in the Old Testament. It shows the importance of how we deal with adversity and the power of good friends. While Job had friends, they were not heavenly focused, nor did they give good advice. We all need friends who will give support and encouragement (1 Thessalonians 5:11). While it will be tempting to isolate yourself at home, get out of the house and make time to fellowship.
Create or keep a routine. Do you have time for that new swimming class? Are you interested in becoming a volunteer? It’s okay to add a couple of fun items on your calendar. Just know your boundaries and stick to your schedule. Don’t let a deployment disrupt the rhythm of your family. Maintain your devotion time, morning or night. Keep the patterns that worked well prior to the deployment. If you had a family game night on Thursday, then keep it on the calendar even if Dad is gone. The kids also need that stability and steadiness of a routine.
Stay within the family budget. Deployments may cause a jump in your income. Extra money in the checking account is a blessing, but don’t yield to the spending bug. Talk with your service member about the new income level. Make a spending or saving plan that will honor God and your family. Focus on your priorities. Can you support a local homeless shelter? Can you pay off the second mortgage or a credit card bill? Will you need to save for a new vehicle? Perhaps to want a romantic getaway once the deployment is finished. Will the funds be available? Discuss your options as a couple and stick with your plan.
Join or start a Bible study. You have a great opportunity to strengthen your faith during this deployment. Is there a topic that you’ve always wanted to study? Is there a book of the Bible you just can’t make time to read? You are not alone. We all have questions regarding God’s Holy Word, so connect with a group of believers and dig in. Depending on the group you join, this can be another way to connect with military spouses and family members. Find a church or organization that offers Bible studies to military families as a specific ministry. They are available. Some even provide meals and child care.
Decide to strengthen your marriage. Yes, deployments create long-distance relationships, but you can still connect with your spouse. Have a communication plan with your spouse prior to departure or once he/she arrives at the new duty station. Can you communicate once a day or once a week? What time of day will you communicate? If you are eight time zones apart, try to respect sleep schedules at home and overseas. Webcams and video chatting make it easy to see and talk with your loved one while overseas. These options are not available in every overseas location, but utilize the technology that will work on both sides. Don’t forget to write either. Nothing is like getting a letter from home during a long deployment. It’s a keepsake that service members treasure and can carry in their uniform for frequent reminders of home.
There is no such thing as an easy deployment, but military families can utilize these self care suggestions while your loved one is gone. Continue to pray for one another and model the love of Christ at home and abroad.
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