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When Soldiers Stumble

September 26, 2012 by John Potter

History has taught us that people are different when they return from war.  Part of the difference is often called the soldier’s paradox.  After returning from combat, veterans can be emotionally distant, edgy, and angry, but they are also happy to be home.

During this time, veterans may have a short temper and little tolerance for mistakes.  They are often more independent and boisterous than before the deployment.  The transition from the war zone to the home zone can be very difficult.  It also allows an atmosphere where anger, resentment, bitterness, and even depression can occupy our minds if we allow it.  If firm boundaries are not in place, we will abuse alcohol, behave badly, curse and swear, start shouting matches, and spend more time with our battle buddies than at home.

To put it plainly, we stumble.

1 Corinthians 10:32 shares, “Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God . . . .”

This is an important reminder for returning veterans.  We should not falter in our witness.  Even if we are hurting, our actions are examples that other may follow.  It does not matter who may be watching an NCO, an officer, a spouse, a stranger, or your own child.  That being the case, we should not lead others toward sin.  We should instead reflect the love and peace of Christ.  Our actions should point toward the cross and demonstrate a redeemed life.

There are ways to ease the transition home.

Make time for your family.  Soldiers often make strong ties with fellow warriors while deployed.  This was part of your support network while down range, but there is a family who needs you.  Balance time between battle buddies and family.  Be a godly example for your spouse and kids.

Make time for God.  Growth and development is what every parent wants in a child.  If a child stops growing any parent would be concerned.  God wants us to mature and strengthen our faith.  If you are the same Christian you were last year, something needs to change.  Turn prayer, study, and fellowship into regular activities.  In time, you will see the difference.

We all stumble.  But there is a responsibility to get back on track.  Remember that sanctification is the lifelong process of being changed from one degree of glory to the next, constantly growing in Christ.  As military families continue reintegration, pursue the example of Christ.

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A 9-11 Prayer

September 11, 2012 by John Potter

Heavenly Father, we ask that You continue to heal and restore as we remember the tragic events of September 11, 2001.

Comfort those who mourn the loss of loved ones from that day and all the actions that have followed in its wake.

Be with our military as they leave their families and sacrifice blood, sweat, and tears on our behalf.

Guide our leaders as they direct our nation.

Eternal God, help us to fix our eyes on You, to live like Christ, and to respond to Your Holy Spirit.

Amen.

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President Signs Order to Increase Behavioral Health Services for Veterans

September 4, 2012 by John Potter

President Obama signed an executive order directing federal agencies to expand suicide prevention strategies and improve access to mental health and substance abuse treatment for veterans, service members, and their families.

Citing an obligation to “build an integrated network of support capable of providing effective mental health services,” the order includes an array of directions for the Department  of Veterans Affairs, the Department of Health and Human Services, and other federal agencies.  Collaboration with community-based providers, including community mental health clinics and substance abuse treatment facilities, was specifically required, particularly for areas where the Department of Veterans Affairs has had challenges in providing timely access to services for veterans.  In addition, the Department of Veterans Affairs and the Department of Health and Human Services must expand the capacity of the Veterans Crisis Line by 50% and “ensure that any veteran identifying him or herself as being in crisis connects with a mental health professional or trained mental health worker within 24 hours.”

The Department of Veterans Affairs will also work with the Department of Defense to establish a national, 12-month suicide prevention campaign focused on connecting veterans to mental health services, officials reported.

To ensure veterans have access to these services, the executive order also calls on the VA and HHS to establish at least 15 pilot sites where VA can partner with local mental health providers. This initiative, officials said, will help ensure services are available in regions where VA has had trouble hiring or placing providers.

The order also directs VA and HHS to develop a plan to increase access to mental health care in rural communities.

The Veterans Crisis Line is a confidential hotline where veterans and family members can immediately connect with trained professionals during a time of crisis.  The toll-free hotline is 1-800-273-8255.

Posted in News & Commentary, Suicide Prevention, Veteran Resources | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Make Relationships That Last

August 29, 2012 by John Potter

Last weekend was great.  It was Sunday morning and the conference room was full of military couples.  People were smiling.  Husbands and wives were holding hands.  Others just kept their arms around each other.  I could tell that folks did their “homework” and made time to reconnect.  The dynamics of the room had changed.  There were no folded arms or frowns like the day before.  The room was full of happy people.  These marriages were stronger, satisfied, and renewed.

As a co-leader, it is great to see couples learn new skills and rekindle their romance.  The big “homework” assignment for Saturday night is to take your spouse on a date.  Both must agree on the details and craft a plan for the night together.  Additionally, every couple needs to treat their spouse like a friend, have fun, reconnect, and spend time listening to one another.  Why couldn’t every homework assignment be this good?

No matter if you attend a marriage retreat or a marriage enrichment seminar like this, we all need the reminder.  Instructors and attendees must hear the message alike.  Relationships are important.  Our marriages need to be nurtured and strengthened.  Take time for each other.  When our marriages were young and new, we never spent time apart.  Now, it is difficult to find a quiet evening to talk.  Make time for each other.  Remember why you fell in love.  Dates don’t have to be expensive, they just need to happen.

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Suicide Impacts Us All

August 23, 2012 by John Potter

Suicide is a monumental problem in our society and in the military. Currently, a member of the Armed Forces dies each day from suicide. We could easily read the suicide rates for 2012 and forget that every suicide statistic represents a life lost.  A death that leaves behind scores of hurting people.

There is no “one size fits all” solution to suicide. People contemplate suicide for many different reasons; increased alcohol and drug use, divorce, family dissolution, financial matters, legal trouble, an illness, depression, and many other reasons. While the causes vary, we can all show universal concern and support.

Here are some ways to help people at-risk of suicide.

1. Be present. Show your concern for people in pain.  Make time for the person who is hurting.  Scripture shares that we need to “bear one another’s burdens.” Take time to help through their days of difficulty.

2. Listen. Express compassion through listening and responding. Empathy is a great way to show concern to a person experiencing pain. Hear his or her concerns. Allow that person to say what is causing the pain.  Share the gift of silent listening and then you can guide your friend with wise counsel.

3. Do something about the problem. Too often, people at-risk are so overwhelmed with depression, grief, stress, or anguish that they don’t know where to turn next. Give that person guidance. Share resources that can help. Take them to a medic, chaplain, or counselor. Call the VA hospital. Find a way to connect the person with assistance. The Bible encourages us to be, “doers of the word, not hearers only.”  Take action, especially when it comes to the important issue of suicide.

Suicide impacts our state, our community, and National Guard units across the nation.  While causes will vary, we can all make a difference in addressing the problem.  Demonstrate compassion and concern for those who are hurting.  Take time and be available to friends in need.  The time and efforts you make can save a life.

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Suicide Prevention Month – Make a Difference in Your Community

August 22, 2012 by John Potter

It is time to make a difference in your community.  It is time to stand with those who are suffering.

September is suicide prevention month.  Take time to find, list, and highlight organizations that can save a life.  Find out what resources are available in your community and share those resources.  No matter where you live, your community has access to a local, state, or national group that helps people at-risk of suicide.

Possible organizations include:  crisis centers, hospitals, churches, charities, call centers, veteran groups, along with schools and universities.  It is also important to know the warning signs and symptoms of people at risk.  Take time to educate yourself, take a class, or attend a survivors of suicide support group.

Suicide is a tremendous problem in our communities and our society.  It hurts spouses, children, parents, extended families, friends, and co-workers.  When it is all said and done, suicide impacts everyone.  Take action this September.  Make a difference in your community.  If you find a meaningful website, share it with your friends.  If you attend an ASIST class, tell people how to intervene.   Your actions and words of encouragement could help to save a life.

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Indiana veterans find peace by sharing war stories

August 13, 2012 by John Potter

Indiana veterans find peace by sharing war stories in monthly meeting at Anderson church.

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Where Jesus Used to Be

August 10, 2012 by John Potter

I was driving on the interstate when a white Nissan Maxima passed me.  The car was moving pretty fast, so it had my attention.  As the car zoomed by, I could see the outline where an ichthus once resided on the trunk lid.  Ichthus is the fancy word for a “Jesus fish” logo.

Clearly, one of two things could have happened to the vehicle.  First, someone took the fish off the car.  Second, the fish fell off the car.  I wanted to think that a Christian sold his or her car to this speed crazy maniac and then he pried it off the Maxima.  But I digress.  Regardless of how it left, the result would be the same.  It was a marked car.  Jesus used to be there and He left a distinguishable mark.

Scripture tells us that those who follow Jesus are marked men and women.  Ephesians 1:13 reads, “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.”

In that era a seal denoted ownership.  That unique mark, stamp, or seal was legally recognized for the land owner or businessman to identify the possession.  It would also be used to show that a transaction took place.

As followers of Jesus, we should be like the marked car.  Our lives should look like, sound like, and operate like Christ, regardless of the location.  Our behavior and actions should stand out as a way to glorify the Son of God.  We are marked men and women who have been sealed with the Holy Spirit.  This is why we smile.  This is why we share the hope that is in us.  This is why we demonstrate kindness and service to others.  We are a redeemed people who have been changed.

So let us remember who made the distinguishable mark on our lives and may that compel us to reflect the love of Christ.

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How to Handle Soldiers at Home

August 8, 2012 by John Potter

Your soldier finally made it back from the deployment.  The homecoming ceremony is over.  The banners and bunting are put away.  The confetti is gone.  Your warrior is home with 90 days of leave.  Now what?

Here are a few tips on how to handle your soldier at home.

Communicate like a couple.  This will be rusty at first.  You have both changed during the deployment.  You are more independent and your warrior still needs to adjust back into the family.  Remember that you will hear lots of military jargon and abbreviations.  They will make no sense to you whatsoever.  It is okay to turn your head and say, “I don’t know what you just said.  Did you just speak in Martian?  Is that some kind of Army lingo you picked up during the deployment?”  Be ready for the soldier to talk like a soldier.  Sentences may be short and choppy.  In return, speak up when that occurs.  Remind your warrior that you were not down range.  Apply grace and compassion in moments like this.  Listen to the war stories and remind your soldier to hear the home stories as well.  Show love through humor and sharing.

Reunions take time.  Once the soldier is home, it will take time to reconnect.  You cannot flip a switch and return your family to 2011.  Expect things to go well.  There is normally a honeymoon period where everything is perfect because the family is back together.  This can last a couple of days or a couple of weeks.  It is different for each military family.  In time, challenges will start to surface.  The kids will act up during the worst possible time.  The dog will get sick.  Conversations turn into arguments.  Tempers will flare.  Snippy comments are exchanged and suddenly our once happy couple stops using titles like dear, baby, honey, or sugar toward each other.  Don’t growl at each other.  This is when you adjust to new roles and routines.  How did things function during the deployment?  Share what a typical day looked like and how the family needs to function.  Make the adjustments necessary.  Gradually, the new normal will be established at home, but prepare for a couple of kinks in the line.  Remember to demonstrate patience with each other.

Keep your activities.  Keep the fun events and activities that got you through the deployment.  Don’t give up the good stuff that kept you sane during the last year.  Several spouses will join a gym, have a girl’s night out with FRG friends, start a hobby, or join a book club.  Don’t throw them out because your warrior is home.  Likewise, soldiers may have taken college classes, maintained a fitness routine, attended Bible study, or enjoyed a movie night with battle buddies during the deployment.  Soldiers and spouses should keep the good stuff from the last year, but remember to maintain a balance.  Make time for each other and your family.  Don’t let activities and events get in the way of your reunion.  Protect the good stuff in a healthy way.

Each time I came home, my wife was very patient with me.  We felt that the second deployment was easier in some ways because we knew what to expect.  But there were different challenges from the first go around.  Military families need to know that every deployment and homecoming is different.  The issues that military families face are complex and varied.  Don’t expect the first to be like the second.  Make time to attend your reintegration briefings or Yellow Ribbon events.  They will offer practical ways to help you and your funny talking soldier.

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Resources for the Military Spouse

August 3, 2012 by John Potter

There is no doubt who has the most difficult job when a service member is deployed.  Military spouses win that one hands down!  They do the job of two people, wrangle kids, make sure that the household stays afloat, and everything else while their warrior is downrange.

Military spouses have a new way to find resources online.  Spouselink is made for the needs and interests of the military spouse.  It covers a wide variety of topics and has a splash of pop culture included.  So take it for a test drive, watch a video, read an article, or share information with another family member with the click of a button.

http://www.spouselink.org

 

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